CHILDHOOD
My Mum was born on 20th March, 1946, much-loved only daughter to Phyllis and Alan Blair. She was something of a miracle, her Mum having been told she couldn’t have children, and she carried on surpassing expectations her whole life. (Rachel Heron)
BARBARA AND HER PARENTS
Though she was an only child, she was very much part of a close family. Her mother was one of the four siblings in the Hill family (three sisters and a brother). Her aunts and uncles were at the centre of her family's social life. During her first decade four cousins were added to this group. She remained close to them all her life.
In the first years of their married life during the war Barbara's parents lived in her Dad's brother's house whilst he was away. When he returned they moved into one of the houses owned by her grandfather in Denewell Avenue in High Heaton, where Barbara lived until she was two or three years old. For the rest of her childhood she lived in another of his houses in Hotspur Street, Heaton. Her eldest cousin, Helen, remembers ‘the kind and loving atmosphere of the house in Hotspur Street where Barbara grew up.’ Her friend Jan Loose has similarly affectionate memories of Barbara’s home (and her own):
Phyl was at school with our Mum and they were lifelong friends. There were exchange afternoons and tea at each other’s houses at least once a week, so Barbara was very much a part of our childhood, I remember the Mary Mouse books and I think an important one about fairies.
As the eldest, Barbara could readily impress her cousins. Alison, the youngest of them was a little in awe of her:
Barbara was my magical, mysterious and intriguing eldest cousin. She was ready to give me advice whenever I needed it. She was practical and helpful but always with an air of spirituality and insight, thinking of solutions that I would never have considered. When I grew up and became much taller than Barbara, I still looked up to her. That used to make us both giggle.
The hill family siblings and their husbands and wives: Flo Hill, Bill Hill, Alan and Phyl Blair, Wyn Dracup (nee Hill), Norah Hill (Bill's wife), Stephen Dracup.
ST FRANCIS CHURCH
As High Heaton was growing in the 1950s the existing St Gabriels Church could not meet the needs of the growing population. St Francis was built on the then north eastern corner of the settlement in 1953. Alan Blair, in particular, became a loyal member of that congregation and Barbara went with him to Sunday morning service, sometimes going on to her grandmother’s house to play her grand piano while her Dad paid a quick visit to the pub before Sunday lunch. Alan remained loyal to the Church even after the family moved away from Heaton whilst Barbara was at University and we were married there in 1969.
CHURCH GIRLS BRIGADE
The Church Girls Brigade at that Church played a significant part in Barbara’s pre-teen and teenage years. She is a 'tiny' in the bottom left of the first photo; considerably more senior in the second.
CAROLE MOFFAT
That is where she met her lifelong best friend Carole Moffat. At Barbara’s funeral, Carole shared vivid memories of their activities together:
I remember when we first met at Church Girls Brigade in St Francis Church, High Heaton. Newcastle. I was 5 and she was 7 and we skipped hand in hand onto the stage, as cupids in the Xmas Showcase!!
From then began our long journey of more than 10 years through more than 500 Wednesday evenings filled with such excitement as:
Club swinging (We aced it with the real wooden things but we didn't do so well practicing with glass milk bottles in her back yard)
Gymnastics including a variety of techniques in straddles and somersaults over the large, wooden vaulting horse (we didn't try that at home)
Annual camping trips and the line-up for the daily dose of cod liver oil – all from the same spoon!!
Figure marching – Barbara rose to the rank of colour sergeant, leading us on whilst carrying our flag!! All set to military style marching tunes played on the piano by Barbara's mum – and later by Barbara herself!
Barbara’s role as pianist ‘for the tinies’ as she used to say not only gave her a regular outlet for her piano playing developing her competence and confidence, it left a strong muscle memory and an abiding conundrum for her. Whenever she sat down at the piano she wanted to start by playing the march she had played and repeated in those sessions. The trouble was she could remember how to play the few phrases and how to repeat, but not how to bring the march to an end.
HEATON HIGH SCHOOL, MARGARET AND MARILYN
At Heaton High School in 1957 Barbara made two other lifelong friends: Margaret and Marilyn Pigg. They were not in the same class until the sixth form but socialised outside school. Carole was glad to be included in this new friendship group. They. made regular trips to the ice rink and, apparently on occasions when it was frozen to ‘Paddy Freeman’s’ (a stone’s throw from the school). Barbara’s cousin Helen was sometimes included as she too remembers skating with Barbara and her:
impressive pair of white ice skates which we once used when Paddy Freeman's froze over and I think we went to the skating rink with her and possibly Carole when I was in my early teens. They were very cool.
Barbara had a lasting memento of her skating days in the form of a scar on her shin. I remember her frustration at not easily finding a place or time to skate after she moved to Leeds. With no skating experience I offered no encouragement or help.
The Pigg twins were also part of probably the biggest adventure of Barbara’s school days. In 1963, a sixth form group toured the Mediterranean on ‘the educational cruise ship, Devonia’. As Margaret recalls:
We visited Pompeii and Spain during the cruise, had fun on board and put up with the ex-troop ship’s living arrangements.
Barbara remembered that trip fondly throughout her life. Around 2017 Barbara, Rachel, Kaia and I visited Pompeii and Margaret remembers ‘her description of the massive developments that had occurred in the 60 years since we first saw it.’
A crisis in Carole’s life brought her and Barbara even closer together. Carole recalled:
when I was faced with family difficulties Barbara's generosity, care and patience kept me safe and led to her providing invaluable ongoing support and welcoming me into her immediate and wider family life where I stayed for many years.
I will be forever grateful that I was able to have her as my closest friend in those difficult times
MAINTAINING LONG DISTANCE LIFELONG FREINDSHIPS
When Barbara went to University Carole was still living with the family. She tells us that she ‘followed [Barbara] to Leeds, staying in the flat with her and Denise at weekends (and living with her parents during the week’. I think these arrangements were interrupted by Carole’s visit to Germany.
The friendship resumed quickly after. I remember exchanging visits to Carole and her first husband George in Newcastle and Leeds. Margaret and Marilyn both moved to London and married Londoners. We visited them before we went to Kenya, driving down the M1 very nervously in the very old Morris Oxford I had bought, pulling on to the hard shoulder and waiting for the AA only to be told that it was the change in road surface that made the noise and there was nothing wrong with the car. The twins and their spouses received us both very generously making us at home with the four of them whenever we visited.
Whilst we were in Kenya and Nigeria, Barbara kept in touch with these three friends through letters and cards. Mutual visits between Barbara and Carole resumed when we were all in England. Margaret remembers an accidental meeting ‘in a queue for coffee in Alnwick’:
We were there to get Kate’s split off (broke her wrist in German exchange aged 12). You were camping in a field in Wooler and escaping from the sodden field.
In addition to family visits which continued, reinforced by occasional birthday celebrations, the four of them met for girls only weekends at least once a year in each other’s houses or in hotels with the men absent or in the background . Margaret lists ‘Newcastle, Wolsingham, York, Manchester, Watford and Hove (but not necessarily in that order)’.
In the years immediately before lockdown family visits became more frequent and my relationship with Malcolm and Jeff grew stronger. Lockdown did bring these to a premature halt but Zoom offered an alternative to the girls’ weekends. Carole organised weekly Zoom meetings beginning during lockdown and continuing now. Barbara participated until a month or so before her death.
